alrighty so leanne has been bugging all of us to post but she sent me a message saying i MUST have something to write about and well i guess i do (kinda) so i guess i'll write.
so you all know that i take violin lessons, i've taken them since i was 4 years old. and for the last....three years? four years? i don't know exactly but anyways i've been taking lessons for a lady named marla and she's really good and i really like her. and we've actually kinda become friends i guess you could say...but well we have a really good time every week and yeah anyways. well about a month ago now (maybe a month and a half? i suck with time) she was diagnosed with breast cancer. she had surgery and is now going though chemo and so far it's been ok but it hit me really hard. when i found out i broke down and cried, i mean, i cried in front of my mom for goodness sakes, which is something i can't even remember the last time that happened. so i haven't even seen marla since like 2 weeks before i found out she was diagnosed, as my lessons were cancelled for the rest of the year. i don't even know if i'll have lessons next year. but it's really strange, how hard it hit me. i mean, i still cry about it. people will ask me how violin is going and i say fine and then i leave and compose myself or have a little cry party. it's a little odd. i never realized that something like that would hit me so hard. maybe i'm just extra emotional? but it hurts. i can't play violin. i have played twice since i found out; once because my mom made me practice and once for worship night for youth a couple weeks ago. and i cannot explain in words how hard it was for me to play. especially when i practiced my pieces. there are so many memories and so much of marla there, and i just can't do it. i can't play. which is odd, because really i love violin and i love to play and usually when i don't play for a couple days i miss it and my fingers itch to play. but i don't miss it. well i do, really, but i don't want to play. it hurts too much to play. and i don't know why.
so there you go, leanne and everyone else. that's part of my life right now.
2 comments:
Aww katie i'm sorry. that really sucks and must be so hard for you. I'll pray for marla and for you so that you'll have peace and I really hope that things will turn out alright for her, and that you will get back to playing violin without all the tears.
i love you katie. but what god is teling me right now is that you need to face your violin.
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