Wednesday, June 25, 2008
hello hello
hey girlies. man i havent posted in such a long time! haha this is exciting. i miss hanging out with all u guys! anyways, im so glad school is over! although i have next year to look forward to haha... yay.. grade 12. THATS SCARRRYYY!!! ahaha.. well over the summer im doing nothing but working #1 im going to england and i need money #2 i need a car. sooo working is my best option to achieve those goals haha. so if any of u guys wanna do something this summer give me a call fo text me. i will be bored. <3
Thursday, June 19, 2008
School's over for me!
I'M SO EXCITED! i just got home from writing my last ever high school final! Biology 30 is over. and the last time i will be at evan hardy is in half an hour to return my textbooks. its's kinda weird but a relief to be done with the stress of studying. i can't believe i'm graduating! it's kinda scary but exciting at the same time. i'm so happy to be done with that bio final. i almost cried when i handed in my exam cause i was so happy to be done (ok just kidding i didn't almost cry, but i could have if i really wanted to). Now i have 3 more days of work before an amazing week of graduation and hanging out at the lake with all my friends! (oh yea so if you've told me you can come i need $20 asap for food and gas). anyway i'm really happy and excited. anyway i have to work in like an hour so im gonna go eat and play pacman cause guess what...........I DON'T HAVE TO STUDY! aha ha ha. i'm such a dork, but i love you all.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Why am i so selfish?
this past month has been the stress month of my life.
i realized how stupidly selfish i am this morning in reviewing how this past month has gone. especially this morning, God really brought it to my attention looking over the past few entries in my prayer journal.
it seems like almost everyone has been a rushed prayer right before heading off to finish a huge assignment or a rushed prayer right before heading off to school to write a final and the prayer is unfocused because i'm trying not to waste brain power or anything that doesn't involve trying to memorize how to do a certain math problem or the legal system of canada or what i'm going to say for a certain presentation.
All these prayers are filled with words like, "God, please let me do a good job." "Let my work honor you. " and looking back, can i honestly say that this prayer is honest? am i truly trying to honor him with honoring myself?
i understand that in everything we do we are to do it well, but i seem to be forgetting the second part of that verse, or at least, not applying it on a deep level. do it well, as though working for God and not for man.
how can i think of the way i've been putting so much time and effort into studying and schoolwork as worship of God when that's all my prayers consit of?
where is the prayer that for once i'm not thinking about myself and what God can do for me? where is the worship of simply deciding to spend time in the word simply because i love him and i just want to listen to him.
it's like, because my life is full of stress, the world suddenly revolves around my problems and i abuse the fact that God has unconditional love and grace for me.
Where's the humble attitude that he is God and he's willing to speak to me if i choose to put him above everything.
Father, i wish this life was easier. i wish it was easier to choose you once and be devoted to you for life. It's so hard to realize that every moment is a choice of worship. Every second i'm given is a new chance for me to choose to pick you above everything. i want to be obsessed in everything you are.
i wish i could block out the world. i wish i could be like one of the elders that Isaiah talks about, so seduced by your glory that i could do nothing but fall at your feet, knowing nothing but your spirit and your loveliness. Take me to the other side of heaven. Teach me what it means to be obsessed.
I want to give up this obsession of self. i want to give up this idea that i need to receive from you to know that i am loved. i'm so selfish. teach me what it means to be a servant father.
I love you.
I ask for your blessing, but only if you have searched my heart and you see it to be a humble request. i know i can never deserve what you give.
i love you.
i realized how stupidly selfish i am this morning in reviewing how this past month has gone. especially this morning, God really brought it to my attention looking over the past few entries in my prayer journal.
it seems like almost everyone has been a rushed prayer right before heading off to finish a huge assignment or a rushed prayer right before heading off to school to write a final and the prayer is unfocused because i'm trying not to waste brain power or anything that doesn't involve trying to memorize how to do a certain math problem or the legal system of canada or what i'm going to say for a certain presentation.
All these prayers are filled with words like, "God, please let me do a good job." "Let my work honor you. " and looking back, can i honestly say that this prayer is honest? am i truly trying to honor him with honoring myself?
i understand that in everything we do we are to do it well, but i seem to be forgetting the second part of that verse, or at least, not applying it on a deep level. do it well, as though working for God and not for man.
how can i think of the way i've been putting so much time and effort into studying and schoolwork as worship of God when that's all my prayers consit of?
where is the prayer that for once i'm not thinking about myself and what God can do for me? where is the worship of simply deciding to spend time in the word simply because i love him and i just want to listen to him.
it's like, because my life is full of stress, the world suddenly revolves around my problems and i abuse the fact that God has unconditional love and grace for me.
Where's the humble attitude that he is God and he's willing to speak to me if i choose to put him above everything.
Father, i wish this life was easier. i wish it was easier to choose you once and be devoted to you for life. It's so hard to realize that every moment is a choice of worship. Every second i'm given is a new chance for me to choose to pick you above everything. i want to be obsessed in everything you are.
i wish i could block out the world. i wish i could be like one of the elders that Isaiah talks about, so seduced by your glory that i could do nothing but fall at your feet, knowing nothing but your spirit and your loveliness. Take me to the other side of heaven. Teach me what it means to be obsessed.
I want to give up this obsession of self. i want to give up this idea that i need to receive from you to know that i am loved. i'm so selfish. teach me what it means to be a servant father.
I love you.
I ask for your blessing, but only if you have searched my heart and you see it to be a humble request. i know i can never deserve what you give.
i love you.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Monday, June 2, 2008
Yes!
Okay all i have to say is GREAT JOB LEANNE! people are posting now! everyone else who reads this better post if you love us. anyway,...i'm really super excited for going to the lake after grad. how about you guys? it's gonna be so much fun! i'm inviting quite a few people though so some people might have to sleep outside in a tent. we've got the trailer too...hehe...it's so old and dilapitated...it's quite funny really. the furniture is upholstered with this really old material and it's so...ugly...yeah. anyway i think i might be heading up there on the monday/tuesday before to get the cabin cleaned up and stuff cause guess what....i only have 2 finals! i have a whole week off before grad so...yeah. it should be a blast guys. when we're there y'all gotta try skinny dipping. hahaha.
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